A man was having premature ejaculation problems so he went to the doctor.

 A man was having premature ejaculation problems so 

he went to the doctor. The doctor said, 

"When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, 

try startling yourself." 

That same day the man went to the store and bought 

himself a starter pistol and ran home to his wife. 

That night the two were having sex and found themselves 

in the 69 position.The man felt the urge to ejaculate 

and fired the starter pistol. The next day he went back 

to the doctor who asked how it went. The man answered, 

"Not well. When I fired the pistol, my wife pooped 

on my face, bit three inches off my penis, and my 

neighbor came out of the closet with his hands in the air."